Nobody is perfect, and knowing our own flaws is part of being human. An internet user recently asked, “What is the most toxic trait you have that you can admit to?” Here are the top 22 responses.
Never Leaving an Argument
“Sometimes, I’m physically unable to walk away. Also, I have to block people to stop myself.”
“I think a lot of people are guilty of this, but I’ll one up you: I’ve blocked someone to get the last word, unblocked them, said one thing extra, then blocked again.”
Insecurity
“I’m insecure, which on its own isn’t too toxic. But it leads me to toxic pride, self-loathing, and loneliness. Pride is how it hurts others, as I’ll treat people like they’re stupid sometimes.”
“I struggle with this. The thing that helps me most is giving myself permission to exist.”
Narcissism
“I like being right, but it’s more about demonstrating that they are wrong that satisfies me.”
“I’m a narcissist too. I possibly have a personality disorder because I was raised by and idolized by someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).”
False Promises
“If put on the spot, I will absolutely and without hesitation make commitments I have no intention of keeping. I have no interest in being pressured and will say whatever it takes to make you stop pressuring me, and I have no moral qualms about reneging later.”
Negativity
“I have a jaded and very negative outlook on nearly everything. It’s not a good feeling when you realize it, and it’s even worse when you remember that you were once the exact opposite.”
“I’m not always negative, but certain events can get me triggered into such hopelessness.”
No Filter
“I cannot filter my talk. I am absolutely horrible at ‘think before you say anything.’ I just can’t.”
“A man in a job interview is asked about his most negative trait. He answers that he is too truthful. The interviewer says that’s not a negative trait. He says, ‘Who cares what you think?’”
Self-obsession
“I have ‘main character’ syndrome. It really comes out if I drink, but it’s low-key always there.”
“I said to my mom, ‘I may have face-blindness because I can’t remember names.’ She replied, ‘You just don’t care what their names are.’ It was so obviously true and eye-opening.”
Stress-induced Moods
“I tend to shut down when the stress piles up, and I just end up being miserable and wanting the day to end, and it’s tough to be around me when I’m like that. Takes a fair bit of consistent pressure to upset me that much, but I am horrible to deal with when I’m in that mood.”
Neediness
“I have a hard time being self-confident, so I know I can be needy and occasionally want more reassurance than is healthy. It’s particularly bad in romantic relationships.”
“I am often clingy, needy, overly jealous, and constantly seeking validation from others.”
Being Dismissive
“When I am overwhelmed and there’s too much going on, I am dismissive of others.”
“I know what you mean; it’s like an out-of-body experience; you can see yourself and hear yourself dismissing others, even observing their responses, yet you’re totally unable to alter yourself.”
Ignoring Problems
“I shut down in response to a crisis and hope it goes away instead of working through it constructively. Trying to actively deal with a problem just makes a bigger mess.”
“I pretend it’s not happening and shut down while also trying to hide so others don’t bring it up.”
Toxic Positivity
“It sounds like a good thing, but it becomes problematic because I tend to dismiss my partner’s negative emotions or don’t communicate well when I feel angry or sad.”
“I am overly accepting of things. My three past partners agree this is a pathetic trait in a man.”
Impatience
“I am really impatient when someone doesn’t understand something immediately. As my mother tells me, ‘Please be nice to us dumb people.’ I’ve really tried being more patient with people, but I just can’t. So now I just step away before I explode.”
Poor Communication
“I will be very active in emailing and texting people for a week and then disappear completely from all contact the next week, only to return the next week. I’m very inconsistent.’
“I disappear on people due to ADHD and general laziness. Thankfully, my friends understand.”
Flakiness
“I migrate from group to group, never keeping any consistent friends. I can be super supportive, then just up and leave because I suddenly no longer feel any connection with them.”
“I had a best friend like this. 13 years later, I’m still bitter; she just dropped me from her life.”
Never Accepting Help
“I very rarely ask for help, admit I need help, or accept that I do. This goes for simple tasks like doing dishes but also extends to bigger things that I’m clearly struggling with. It’s not even a pride thing. I don’t even know why I’m like this. I need to find a list of reasons.”
Too Forgiving
“Don’t know if it’s toxic, but I’m always hoping that I’ll get acknowledged for it in the end.”
“This was me for a long time. I found that it didn’t serve me well, and I wasted my forgiveness on toxic people, so now I’ll cut people out of my life if they cause issues.”
Irritability
“I get super irritable when I’m in pain or otherwise overstimulated. I’m just in total meltdown mode. Sometimes I’m way too close to completely losing it because I can’t kick a migraine.”
“I try to bury the rage monster and talk in a calmer tone, but then my face turns into a grimace.”
Overly Judgmental
“I am very judgmental and untrusting of others and use it as a tactic to keep everyone at arm’s length so they can’t hurt my black baby heart.”
“I am a very harsh critic and an extremely harsh judge of character overall.”
Invulnerability
“If someone really hurts me, I’m always waiting for it to happen again. I don’t like feeling vulnerable or exposed. I tend to be very guarded or standoffish, but safe. If someone takes advantage of a moment where I am and I regret it, I feel resentment toward them.”
Never Apologizing
“I’m 36 and just now learning how to apologize properly. Growing up, my family settled arguments by ignoring each other for a few days, then suddenly acting like nothing happened.”
“Not talking about the problem or resolving anything made me shut down instead of apologizing.”
Wanting To Be Alone
“I prefer to be left alone, but I’m kind, warm, and welcoming when people approach me. When people lean into interacting with me, I feel a bit antagonized, like, ‘I’ve been nice, now move along,’ but if they still linger, I start to get hostile.”
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