Military training often engrains some odd habits that stay with members for life. An internet survey recently asked, “What screams “I’m ex-military?” Here are the top 22 responses.
Sleeping Through Anything
“I was mostly tactical. Nothing makes me wake up faster than complete silence. Silence = generator stopped.”
“I slept through an electric transformer exploding in my yard once. What woke me up? I heard a male voice I didn’t recognize outside in the yard.”
USAA
“The membership extends to grandchildren of servicemembers and veterans, so not really accurate, but that card does get me asked a lot if I’m a veteran, and then the ensuing conversation of “I’m thinking about enlisting, what should I know?””
“As someone who does a lot of insurance work (damage claims), if you can get USAA, get it. They cover almost anything. I would have them if I could.”
An Affinity for Cargo Shorts
“More pockets = better shorts. It’s science.”
“Navy vet here, but it had kids that got me hooked on cargo shorts. Loaded baby bottle/sippy cup: check Extra diaper: check Baby wipes: check Fishy crackers: check Phone: check Wallet: check Keys: check.”
Hating When People Thank Them for Their Service
“I used to thank people for their service because that was my dad’s example. Then I saw how uncomfortable it made a friend in the army feel when strangers did it to him, and I stopped.”
“I always respond with, “Thank you for your taxes.” It tends to solicit a laugh from most people.”
Divorced Before 25
“If the Army wanted me to have a wife, they would have issued me one.” – My divorced veteran friend. Sounded like an oft-repeated refrain when he said it.”
“This is up there with “owning a Ford Mustang for 8 months when you were 19.”
Telling Someone at 8:57 AM, “You’re Late” for a 9 AM Meeting
“One of my American friends was an Army sergeant. The time thing was a big problem.”
“5 minutes early is on time.”
Scarfing Down Any Food Very Quickly
“I make beautiful meals with restaurant quality ambiance, and my ex-Marine SO inhales each item, rotating clockwise, finishing in the time it takes me to get my bread properly buttered.”
“Paramedic here. Sitting while eating is just asking for it. I take a single bite, pace. A single bite, pace.”
Asking for a Veteran Discount
“Every time I get a Vet discount, I tell my wife: I served 7 years of my life to save $22 at Lowes!”
“Every time my wife wants something at the local Hallmark store, she drags me along to buy it because they give a 20% veteran discount. That’s nothing to sneeze at, actually.”
Knees and Back Are Ruined
“Currently at 15 years of service. Two bad shoulders at 25 and my first knee surgery at 27.”
“A few years back, our young 21-ish-year-old female troop in the office told us that her doctor said she has the knees of a 50-year-old man due to our work.”
Using Acronyms That Literally Nobody Else Understands
“We hired a new supervisor at my job who had just exited the Air Force. His first email started with a BLUF longer than the email itself. Also, nobody knew what BLUF was, which added to the confusion. He also signs all his emails V/r, which isn’t as bad but still adds to it.”
“I still sign my emails with v/r. For the longest time, I didn’t know it was a military thing. I thought it was a professional thing.”
Incredibly Sensible
“They want to get from point A to point B as quickly and efficiently as possible. I really like having ex-military people on my work teams. They also tend not to mince words, so there is no room for misinterpretation when communicating, which I find refreshing.”
“BLUF (bottom line up front) is what I miss most about the army. Get to the point quickly, then go into details if needed.”
Complete Indifference to Insane Upper Management Antics
“The amount of stuff I see people getting worked up over, and I’m just shrugging my shoulders, “I could be mopping the parking lot in a rainstorm. This is nothing.”
“He’s seen combat. People yelling at each other in meetings, no matter what about, is relatively small stuff compared to that.”
Everything Is Carried in Their Left Hand
“Saluting is done with the right hand, and saluting with something in your right hand is a huge no-no unless whatever you’re carrying requires two hands.”
“My husband hates when I hold the wrong hand. Stresses him right out.”
Patience
“Vets have had to wait for tons of paperwork and deal with a lot of stuff they can’t immediately control. 9.5/10 They are okay with waiting patiently for you to ring up their order or something. They’ve waited months for a piece of paper to tell them they can go on leave. They are not bothered that their food isn’t coming out in 10 minutes.”
“As a veteran, this one I can relate to. I can be very patient in waiting for service as long as it’s standard procedure. Also, I can’t stand people complaining about the wait time when there’s a long line and a limited amount of people working.”
A DD-214
“The holiest of documents.”
“I’ve known a couple of people to scan their DD-214 onto a large blanket to sleep in.”
Alcoholism
“14 years sober last month, brother. I got out in 1996. Missed the camaraderie and chaos. Started hanging out at the bars. Long story, but the short one is to go to some 12-step meetings and find your brothers and sisters. We need each other’s support. It’s how we survive.”
“Both of my parents were marines, and the biggest things I associate with the military from them are alcoholism, screaming fits, and erratic behavior.”
V6 Mustang With a 30% APR Interest Rate
“That’s current E1-3’s.”
“A guy in MOS school bought a truck from one of those places outside the base. After being explicitly told we weren’t allowed to have cars on base. As punishment, he had to give a presentation showing how much he would end up paying for the truck.”
Bearded, Addicted to Tobacco, Walks Abnormally Fast, and has an Aversion to Walking on Grass
“This is… disturbingly accurate. I feel like I should be offended. Though I’d also add constant swearing.”
“My wife wonders why I walk so fast. I didn’t have an answer until now.”
A Dodge Challenger That You’re Still Paying For
“Nah, those guys are still in. One more deployment, though, and that baby is theirs! /s.”
“My brother is a sergeant in the army, and yep, sure is true. He doesn’t even use it anymore unless it’s freezing because he went and bought a motorcycle.”
Overuse of the Word “Outstanding”
“It doesn’t have to be good to stand out.”
“Also misusing “Caveat” and “Dovetail.” You’re not adding a caveat. You’re just repeating the presenter’s points.”
Posture
“My dad slouches — badly. He’s 71 now and has a worse posture than Mr. Burns. I noted this when I was 7 or 8 years old and taught myself to stand up straight and sit up straight like a soldier. I’ve gotten comments on my “perfect posture” my whole life. At the airport or hiking, I sometimes get asked what branch I’m in (out here in Hawaii, especially)….. I’m a digital nomad.. the only military background I have is Call of Duty.”
“Counter to that, the helicopter hunch is a real thing. I feel it is forming already. Gym routine now includes some neck-specific exercises.”
Standing at Attention for the National Anthem
“I got called out for not putting my hand on my heart. After I said that’s not what we were taught in basic training, the dude walked away quickly.”
“It feels weird not to stand at attention.”
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