We’re all getting older day by day, but we don’t always notice. That is, until reality comes along, slaps us in the face, and reminds us that we are, in fact, getting older. A recent internet survey asked, “What made you realize you’re getting old?” Here are the top 20 answers:
When the new Athletes and Artists Look Like Children
“Or you look at their birth year and realize how young they are.”
“Yes, everyone looks like teenagers. Teenage cops, teenage teachers, teenage clerks at the utility company.”
Making Noises When You Sit Down or Stand Up
“I teach middle school, and I had to explain to the students that the sitting down noises are involuntary.”
“Whenever I’m sitting down or crouching down, etc., I just make weird Aurghhhhhh sounds.”
Having to Google New Slang Words
“I have no idea what bussin, fleek, and no cap mean.”
“I kept seeing people say drip, but the context didn’t make sense. It used to mean a person who wasn’t fun. A wet blanket. You might say, ‘Don’t invite Bobby. He’s a real drip.'”
When Your Body Hurts for No Reason
“I threw out my back vacuuming last month. Laid up for two days. Spectacular.”
“A friend described it as a ball of pain that just randomly floats around the body, settling here and there.”
Scrolling to Find Your Date of Birth on Website Forms
“Trying to find 1971 is like spinning the Big Wheel on The Price is Right, then realizing that you and the show are the same age.”
“I just fling it and watch it scroll waaaaaaay down.”
Hurting Your Back Easily
“I sneezed and threw out my back.”
“I threw mine out while putting on pants after getting out of the shower. Stuck in bed for two days.”
The Amount of Time It Takes To Recover From Things
“Drank too much? Two-day hangover. Rolled your ankle? Limping for a week. Bug bite? It’ll be there for a month.”
“Drinking is just borrowing fun from the next day….. and the older you get, the worse the exchange rate.”
When You Realize the Year 2000 Was Over 20 Years Ago
“As of now, college seniors were not alive during the 1990s. Also, there are people born after 9/11 who are old enough to drink alcohol now.”
“Before you know it, people born in 2000 will be too old to date Leonardo DiCaprio.”
Talking to Young People About Music
“Talking to a 19yo at work. Ask him what kind of music he listens to. He says classic rock is what his parents listen to. Ok. I’m thinking of the 80s. Ask for specific bands. His answer: Linkin Park, System of a DowSTOP. I walk away.”
“Elder millennial here: My 18-year-old son was telling me about the band Korn as if I wasn’t an angsty teen in the 90s and was surprised that I knew the lyrics to Linkin Park songs.”
When Classic Radio Stations Play Songs From Your Youth
“The old school R&B station here has started to play the hip-hop I grew up on in the 90s to the late 2000s. It caught me off guard at first.”
“The songs from when I was a kid are now on the local classic rock radio station.”
You Feel Hungover For No Reason When You Wake Up
“Waking up every day feels like a mild hangover despite not drinking in 6 months.”
“Whenever I stay up past midnight, the next day is a hangover from hell.”
Grey Hair
“Damn, I remember having hair.”
“My hair has been graying since I was 20 years old, so I’ve come to terms with it. The progressive thinning is what gets me.”
When You Start to Enjoy Watching Birds
“I was sitting outside smoking a joint. And a hummingbird flew up and chilled on the plant next to me. I’m excited for the hummingbird now.”
“White-throated Sparrows apparently like whisky.”
When You Hurt Yourself in Your Sleep
“Friend of mine said the older she gets, the more she realizes the importance of a good pillow.”
“I have three pillows: one for my head, one between the knees to relieve hip or back pain, and one to cuddle to relieve shoulder pain.”
When People Talk About the Next Generation Instead of Yours
“Everything online is about Gen Z now. And I’m just not the current generation anymore. I’m in the past tense. I’m discarded. Nobody cares anymore.”
“Pop culture’s need to market to you stops around that age more than anything. Once most of Gen Z starts to reach their mid-20s, they’ll be forgotten all the same in favor of Gen Alpha.”
Having a Heart Attack
“I was 51 when it happened. I lost 40% of my heart and was told that I should get my affairs in order. I have congestive heart failure, but here I am, ten years later, still standing.”
“I’ve got my pacemaker that has wifi, and I’m trucking along four years later. The best thing is, I get senior citizen discounts at places to eat!”
Being Called Sir
“It’s been a while for me, but it happened when some kid actually addressed me as ‘sir.’ That hurt. I turned around to see if my dad was standing behind me.”
“Without adding, ‘You’re making a scene.'”
Saggy, Loose Neck Skin
“Mine has always been like that. It’s been a running joke in my friend circle for like 20 years.”
“I was really hoping I didn’t get my mom’s neck genes. I’m 34, and it’s looking like I probably did.”
Remembering When You Used to Buy CDs
“I actually miss them because you were stuck with a CD when you bought it, so you took the time to listen to it over and over again to understand it instead of turning off a song if you don’t like it in the first 5 seconds.”
“Cassette tapes, vinyl records in 78, 33 1/3, and 45s.”
When Your Friends Have Children
“One of my classmates from high school recently had a child. When I saw that, I thought, ‘Isn’t it a bit early?’ Then I realized that it’s not really.”
“Yeah… I’ve got a younger cousin who is a grandfather.”
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