Despite advancements in gender equality, women still face many unrealistic societal expectations. Someone recently asked the women of Reddit, “what do you think is an outdated expectation for women?” Here are the top 18 answers.
Wanting Children
“I get irritated enough when this happens to me as a single queer woman. But for my married friends in relationships with men, it seems to be relentless. Relatives, co-workers, and strangers. They all seem to think it’s reasonable to ask about.”
“I am hoping in the next 10-20 years it will no longer be expected.”
Unconditional Devotion To Their Husband
“When I left my ex-husband, my mom’s grandma tried to convince me to stay. They both are married to men that aren’t good to them but never left or planned to. I am the happiest I have ever been and actually found my soulmate.”
“And continuing to stay with them even when they know they’re terrible.”
Handling The Emotional Work
“My favorite meme is the one saying the term “gold digger” should include men who want their partners to do all their emotional labor. Soul digger!”
“It’s mind-blowing how many guys expect you to be a free therapist to them.”
They Should Mother Their Partners
“You expect me to take care of my husband like he is an overgrown toddler incapable of doing anything for himself?!”
“If you want to act like a toddler, don’t be surprised when you have the sex life of one.”
They Should Do All The Cooking / Cleaning
“Some people want a 1950s style housewife without doing any of the 1950’s husband things.”
“Yeah, it shouldn’t be expected; maybe I love cooking and making things look neat, but maybe I don’t.”
They Are Always The Peacemakers
“I have been a woman of chaos for several moments in my life, one to stand up for myself in ways that are not expected. They assume I’ll be a peacemaker because I am a woman.”
“I’m loud and stand up for myself when I need to, and men give me that ‘how dare you look,’ and it just fills me with power.”
They Dress For Their Men
“They say women should not cut their hair, get tattoos or wear certain fashions because it is unappealing to men. Nowadays, most women dress for themselves.”
“Not once in my entire life have I ever “dressed up for someone else.” Such a silly delusion that men have. I would NEVER let a man tell me what I should do with my appearance.”
They Shouldn’t Complain
“We’re expected to be docile and placid, without complaining. Some men get offended and call us names when we assert ourselves or express any emotion other than happiness. Our boundaries are constantly trampled, and we’re supposed to just take it with a smile. It’s so frustrating!”
They All Want A Man
“I’ve been happily single for years and don’t want to be in a relationship. I don’t get why people assume that single women aren’t as happy as the ones in a relationship.”
“Especially since the life expectancy of a woman goes up when she’s single but goes down for a man that’s single.”
They Don’t Care About A Man’s Appearance
“I’m expected to never care about a man’s looks, only his heart or wallet. Looks aren’t everything, but why should we sacrifice sexual attraction to a man just to get one?”
“It’s much more acceptable for men to be overweight than women. “Beer guts” and “Dad bods” are very acceptable terms in our culture. Newsflash! It’s not attractive to us.”
They’ll Regret Not Having Children
“No one ever says “you’re young, you’ll change your mind” when people do want kids. It’s frustrating. I’m 30 and still being told I’ll change my mind. It’s insulting to assume I’m not smart enough to know what I want.”
“They look at me like I’m crazy and then tell me I’m still young, and I’ll change my mind.”
They Must Wear Makeup
“A lot of people have the notion that it’s lazy for a woman not to wear ANY makeup. Now I wear makeup sometimes, but sometimes I don’t; it’s an outdated expectation.”
“It was literally in one of my old workplace contracts that women have to dress in nice fitting clothes and some kind of makeup.”
They Should Accept Sexual Harassment
“I won’t smile and accommodate other people’s awkward and rude behavior if they are creepy, unwarranted, intrusive, interrupting, or offensive. Get out of my space!”
“I stopped doing the awkward laugh response to men who were inappropriate. Now I just stare them down, and sometimes they get awkward or apologize. Feels great.”
They Belong At Home
“No, I’m not staying home, and I don’t belong in a kitchen.”
“I do not expect women to “be in the kitchen” or to “take care of the kids” while the man does whatever. This isn’t the 50s.”
Working Women Also Need To Clean
“The concept that women should work outside the home AND do most of the housework is crazy. We went too far the other way with the whole women working concept.”
“Work all day and still come home and cook, clean, and maintain everything while he’s expected to be allowed to relax. Yeah, no. We’re a team or nothing.”
Being In Charge Of Event Planning
“In June, my husband will idly wonder what the kids are doing in summer. Dude, the signup for summer camps was in JANUARY. The good ones were full before President’s Day. We had to have the medical forms in by March. I already paid for the camps in April. That ship sailed so long ago that the water behind it is now smooth and flat.”
They Must Be Lady-like
“You know how I feel about that one? (Farts loudly) that’s how I feel.”
“Joke’s on them – if you’re a lady, then by default, everything you do is lady like.”
They Take Their Husband’s Surname
“I cannot BELIEVE that not one of my friends has kept their own name. My partner and I may never get married, but if I have to, I’m not giving up my identity!”
“Last time I mentioned keeping my last name to my partner, he gave me the silent treatment. It hasn’t been brought up again, but I’m not budging.”
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