A young woman recently found her biological dad online, which is great. However, there’s just one problem. He wants her to change her name.
Here’s what she had to say.
The woman, 19, got to know her dad after her grandmother told her who he was against her mother’s wishes.
She found her dad on Facebook, messaged him, and they started talking.
“He didn’t know I existed but agreed to a DNA test, and when it came back positive, he was very happy,” she said.
Now, the young woman visits her dad, his wife, and their three boys quite often, and sometimes she stays with them during the weekend. This has been going on for the last two months.
However, about two weeks ago, her dad told her that he had always wanted a girl and that the only reason they had three children was to give it one last try. He had even picked out a girl’s name when he was in college, which apparently was his grandmother’s middle name because she raised him.
“He said that he was pleased to learn he had a girl and asked me if I would be okay with him calling me “Jasmine “instead of “Stephanie, “which is my name,” the woman said.
She felt awkward, and she didn’t really know how to react, so she said she wouldn’t be comfortable with it because she really likes her name, and well… it’s her name!
Her dad was disappointed, and she felt terrible, but then a few days later, he started calling her Jasmine. The woman reminded him that she didn’t really like it, and he told her that she would just get used to it, and he knew that it was a perfect name for her. He then started guilt-tripping her, saying she should be happy about him being so involved in her life because many children don’t get that, and she should be grateful for all he does for her.
The woman explains that her dad doesn’t do anything unusual for her. She’s an adult and fully supports herself. She has her own apartment and a job, and she goes to college. Her dad hasn’t paid for any of that.
She said, “I appreciate him being in my life and spending time with and I am very grateful, but I just don’t want to lose my name.”
She even offered to add ‘Jasmine’ as her middle name, but that wasn’t enough for him. He wants her to change her first name and only go by Jasmine.
The woman, therefore, asked the Reddit community if she was wrong for sticking to her guns and not changing her name even if it hurt her dad’s feelings. She feels that her name is a part of her identity, and it was the name that her mother gave her, but at the same time, she doesn’t want to lose her dad.
The commenters on Reddit made it very clear that the girl was not being rude and needed to seriously consider if her relationship with her dad was worth it.
One user wrote, “there was probably a good reason why your mother opted not to let him in your life…like…red flags are flying everywhere right now…”
Another said, “something isn’t right with this guy. Who would say we only had that last kid because we hoped it would be a girl? That will do wonders for a 13-year-old’s self-esteem. We don’t know much about the mom. Maybe she was doing it for all the wrong reasons, but I get the feeling that she knew this guy was a little off, and she did it to protect her.”
Source: Reddit
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