A young man finds himself in a predicament as his Indian wife has asked him to lie to her parents about their marriage. The man has never met her family and feels wrong for deceiving them. Perhaps she has her reasons. But should he just accept what she is asking him?
Here’s what he had to say.
The man has been married to his wife for about a year and a half now.
He’s a 28-year-old white man, and his wife is a 26-year-old Indian woman who moved to the States for college and settled with a job there.
They dated for three years before getting married. She made it clear early in their relationship that her family wouldn’t approve of her marrying outside of her religion, caste, and race.
But they decided to go for it regardless.
“We didn’t have much money at the time either, so we eloped and had a sweet ceremony with only our closest friends in attendance. Her parents didn’t even know she was dating me at the time.”
Over the years, she’s gotten to know his family and friends incredibly well.
His sisters treat her like a sister, his parents love her, and she’s super close to his friends.
“However, despite the fact that I know she has very close ties to family and friends back in India, I have never met them, and I truly don’t think I come close to understanding her culture or experiencing her traditions which I think is important because we’ve decided to try for kids this year and want to raise them as proud of both identities,” the man said.
Six months ago, she finally told her parents about him, not about their marriage, but about her dating a white guy.
Recently, they’ve started to come around a bit, and he thought it was high time he visited her home, family, and country.
The man brought this up with her, and she was initially hesitant about the idea. But then she sat him down and told him she was willing to take the trip but with two conditions: they would have to act like they’re not currently married and be willing to have a big wedding celebration back in India soon because she said things would move fast once he meets her parents.
She clarified they wouldn’t bear the financial burden, even though they’re both quite well-off.
He told her he didn’t want to lie to her parents about their lives and that it was probably better to just tell them the truth and come clean.
He also wants to avoid having another wedding ceremony when they already had one that was perfect for him over a year ago, and he would be very uncomfortable with the idea.
She broke down and told him he was being a jerk for not understanding that she didn’t have a choice and that it was the only way for their relationship to work.
He doesn’t think he was being unfair in not wanting to deceive his in-laws, but maybe he misunderstood something. So, he’s wondering if he’s in the wrong here.
So the man reached out to the Reddit community and asked for their advice.
“It’s not even remarrying. It’s just having another celebration so that her family can be involved. I think this is a weird hill to die on. I can understand not wanting to lie, but as you said, you don’t understand her culture as well as you’d like to,” one user said.
Another noted, “the lying ship has sailed long ago… it was a lie by omission, but a lie all the same. If she’s close with her family, as the post says, your wife has been lying to her family for YEARS by not mentioning you. That takes a toll, and she’s exhausted and wants to make it right. Please support her and let her try.”
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Do you think the man should give in and do what his wife asks?
Source: Reddit
