This woman’s mother-in-law booked herself a 3-week vacation. She’s leaving her elderly father behind, and this woman is being asked to give him around-the-clock care while the mother-in-law is away.
The woman can’t believe her mother-in-law would be so selfish, and she doesn’t think it’s fair that she should be stuck with caregiver duties.
Here’s what she had to say.
“My in-law lives 7 hours away. My mother-in-law has always been unwilling to help out with any childcare for our three children,” shared the woman. “This is no problem for me: I’ve accepted that we chose to have children, with or without help from family.”
But although the mother-in-law won’t offer her family some extra support, she expects it from them.
“We have found out that our mother-in-law has booked a 3-week trip away on her own,” said the woman.
The mother-in-law lives with her 85-year-old father, who needs lots of care and assistance, including help with showering, cooking, and making sure he takes his medication, including insulin.
And both the mother-in-law and the woman’s husband think she should step up for three weeks.
“They want me to care for him for three weeks,” said the woman. “Otherwise, he will be left with a caregiver coming in 3 times per week, and they don’t think this is safe.”
The woman explained that this would be stressful and draining. After all, she already has three kids to look after full-time. Her husband can’t help caring for his grandfather because he works away.
The woman said that it would be too much for her. But her mother-in-law and husband insisted; they wanted her to do it.
The woman was angry at both of them.
“I am annoyed at my mother-in-law as she is very selfish and only thinks about herself,” said the woman. “She would never look after our children for me.”
And she knows that for a fact. A few years ago, the mother-in-law agreed to look after the kids while the parents enjoyed a grown-up-only vacation, but she canceled at the last minute.
The woman admits her mother-in-law is entitled to a holiday but thinks she should pay for the professional care her sick and elderly father needs.
“He falls over during the night and has needed an ambulance to take him to the hospital in the past. He has had several strokes and has also suffered from depression,” said the woman.
She hasn’t said no to her mother-in-law or husband yet, but she thinks they’re being over-demanding.
What they’re asking isn’t right or fair, but she still feels guilty for not wanting to do it.
So she turned to the Reddit community for some tips or advice.
And while she’s not finding much support at home, she’s getting plenty from the people of Reddit.
“Not the jerk. Your mother-in-law has got some nerve. Your plate is full. She can take him with her; maybe he wants a holiday,” suggested one person.
“Your husband has some nerve, too,” echoed a fellow supporter. “He knows she cares for their three kids completely by herself, so he can work away. It’s unfair to ask her to take on his medically fragile grandfather alone for three weeks on top of her normal workload with the kids.”
Would you give up three weeks of your life to look after someone while the person who should be doing it is tanning on a beach?
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