A woman is struggling to break free from her controlling mother. The woman wants to buy her own home, but her mother insists she buys a home big enough for the whole family.
Here is what she had to say.
The 23-year-old woman is the eldest child. Her mother is 54, and her dad is 61.
The family is originally from South Asia but moved to America 12 years ago as her parents wanted to give her and her brother better opportunities and education.
“As the oldest daughter, I, of course, have always had a lot of responsibilities, and I was always expected to be the perfect child,” she said.
“So I went to the college they wanted me to go to (which was) close to home. I got a full ride (including housing), so my parents would not have that as a burden.”
The woman worked really hard in high school, which was another expectation of her. The scholarship she received was her way of showing gratitude for everything.
Everything in her life up until now has been done according to how her mother wanted her to live her life.
This included her career, her lifestyle, her friends, and who she dated.
The woman never had a massive problem with this, at least until she did some things without her mother’s approval.
When living in her college apartment, the woman got a cat which angered her mother.
This was during the coronavirus pandemic, in which students were told to return home as classes were to be carried out online.
The woman’s mother would not allow her to bring the cat back home, as she was scared of the animal and worried about what other people would say.
She ended up re-homing the cat and giving it to her roommate, though she is still not over having to do this.
After college, the woman wanted to start living independently, which truly infuriated her mother.
“She brought up society and how females in my culture don’t live alone,” she said.
“Regardless, I stuck with my decision and started living on my own.”
“Well, my mom still does not approve of it and still brings it up as this could be viewed as a very shameful thing.”
The woman has, by now, saved enough money to buy a home, which she did by working 25-30 hours per week as a full-time student as she did not want to be financially dependent on her parents.
The issue, however, is that the woman’s mother wants her to buy a home that is big enough to accommodate her entire family.
She also wants her to pay the mortgage while the family pays for utilities.
Her parents already have a house of their own, the mortgage of which is $1,200.
The woman’s mortgage, if she got a home that was as big as the one her mother wanted her to get, would be over $3,200.
Her mother also wants her to contribute most of the down payment on the house and would only rent out her own home rather than sell it.
The woman has told her mother several times that she does not want to live with her. She already assists her family financially.
She has said that she wants to have her own property, to which her mother emotionally blackmails her about how a family should stick together, calls her selfish, and says that she is a bad daughter.
As such, the woman reached out to the Reddit community, asking if she was wrong for wanting to start her own life and buy her own home.
“Your parents don’t need you to provide them with a home to live in,” said one commenter.
“They already have it! You have accomplished more than most 23-year-olds, and you should be proud.”
“Buy the size and type of house that best suits YOU. And get two cats.”
“Your mom is picking and choosing which aspects of “traditional” culture suit her,” said another person.
“If educational achievement is so important to her, then why isn’t she sacrificing everything to make sure you achieve her dream?
What do you think? Should the woman buy a house for her family?
Source: Reddit
