A man and his siblings asked the Reddit community if they were wrong for not inviting their brother on their trip. The brother hates outdoor activities, and the siblings assumed he wouldn’t want to join them because they planned on doing things he hates.
The family was active
“Our parents were always very active people and encouraged us to be very active as well. Most of my siblings and I thrived in this lifestyle, but one of our brothers, Tom, hated it.
The brother hated it
Tom, who is 22, disliked being outdoors, exercising, dealing with heat, and encountering wildlife. Although the parents encouraged him to try new things before making up his mind, they allowed him to skip activities he was adamant about not wanting to do.
They arranged a trip
Two of the siblings, who were close in age, planned a snorkeling trip together. While making arrangements, they decided to invite their younger siblings as well, provided their parents would help with the expenses and were comfortable with them supervising the younger ones.
The brother wasn’t asked
“We didn’t invite Tom, though, because we knew he’d hate this trip, and we figured he’d be busy with post-graduation plans and everything. In addition to snorkeling, we would also be hiking, rock climbing, and free diving on the trip
He was upset
All of these activities are things Tom expressly hates or cannot safely do.” Tom found out about the trip through their parents and was very hurt that he hadn’t been invited.
They told him why
The siblings explained that the vacation would involve early mornings (which he disliked), a lot of physical activity (also not his preference), and very little relaxation and comfort (his main priorities when vacationing).
He tried to compromise
He suggested he could still join them and do his own thing, meeting them for dinner. However, the siblings clarified that they didn’t plan to visit restaurants during the trip.
They said he could come
The sibling told his brother, “If he wants, he can book his own room on the same dates, but we know he gets really upset when he’s woken up early, so we won’t share with him because we don’t want to deal with that.”
He still felt snubbed
Tom felt they were mistreating him and being unkind without reason, but the siblings insisted that they only wanted to have a good time. He argued that it was absurd for their middle school-aged brother and sister with special needs to be considered better company than him.
They wonder if they’re wrong
This wasn’t what the siblings said, but how Tom interpreted the situation. Now, one sibling is wondering if they were right to assume that Tom wouldn’t want to join them and to try and actively dissuade him from coming.
They asked for advice
A user commented, “If I was in his shoes, I’d be feeling pretty hurt that my family, the people I grew up with, excluded me without even giving me the option to discuss it. You just made an assumption. I can see how that’s hurtful. I think the fact that he had to hear about it from the parents and not from you speaks a bit too much here.”
Another disagreed, “The brother complains about getting up early and wants to go to restaurants. Those aren’t things the others want to do, and they would have to change their plans to accommodate him for a vacation they are planning and paying for.”
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