She Got Into University but Her Parents Moved In With Her and They Control Everything She Does

A young woman recently asked if she was being unreasonable for asking her parents to move out of her home while attending university. Here’s what she had to say.

She is going to college

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The woman is 20 years old, a medical student studying at a university in Scotland, about three hours away from home. She lives in her own apartment, but there’s just one problem. Her mother has moved in with her, and her dad visits regularly.

Her mom moved in

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They have their own home in the city where she’s originally from. They just like to keep an eye out for her. “When my sister lived away at university, she got married in secret, and I think this is what has caused my parents to be this strict with me,” she said.

She’s self-sufficient

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The woman explained that she pays the rent, utilities, and groceries herself. She has a well-paying job at the hospital on campus that allows her to do so, and she often works 12-hour night shifts. 

She wants her freedom

When They Feel Entitled to My Free Time
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She loves her family dearly, and being Middle Eastern, family is very important to her. But she’s had enough. She wants her own independence without feeling like she has someone breathing down her neck. 

She’s very social

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Her mom and dad are lovely, but it is simply getting too much. “I am a very bubbly person who loves having fun, meeting new people & having wild but wholesome nights with friends, and making the best memories,” she said.

Her life is suffering

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She’s never had the university experience, which is something that she wants. She feels that her social life has taken a huge hit, and she cannot meet anyone outside of her course because her parents are very strict about who she hangs out with.

Dad also visits

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They also want her to spend eight hours a day studying.  She said, “I want to grow & learn as a person, but I can’t do that while my mom lives here and my dad visits constantly.” 

They control her life

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She’s not allowed to wear what she wants, and her parents told her to only speak to people regarding her studies. She can’t come and go as she pleases, and if she wants to drink or smoke, she must do it in secret. They even control her food. 

She can’t do anything

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“I cannot pick up hobbies because they will take time away from my education. I cannot do spontaneous things like going on a trip with friends for a weekend. Everything is so controlled,” the woman said. 

She’s worried about the effects

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She is concerned that this is taking a toll on her mental health because all she does is study, go to university, or stay in her room. She wants to grow and learn as a person, but she can’t do that while her mother lives there and her dad is visiting all the time. 

Her life is empty

The Accidental Ghost
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“Even things like learning new recipes and household skills are things I want to experience. I want to be able to have routines solely focused on myself & making me feel good. I am missing out on so much and would like to have these life experiences.”

Nothing is her own

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“I don’t know how to approach this situation with my parents,” she said. She feels that her entire life is dedicated to other people. She’s there for people in their most vulnerable moments. She’s studying how to care for patients and works as an auxiliary nurse.

It’s taking its toll

It’s Ok Not to Be Ok
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She also volunteers for a suicide helpline, gives free tuition in science-based subjects, and advises medical school applicants from disadvantaged backgrounds. “I’m the friend everyone goes to every time there is an emergency or life crisis. I love what I do, but I’m so burnt out,” she said. 

She wants something for herself

You Spend a Lot Of Time Wondering What Others Think of You
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So for once, the woman wants to do something selfish, something just for her, but she doesn’t want to hurt her parents. 

What should she do?

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So the woman asked if she was entitled to make them leave even though it might hurt their feelings and they all agreed with her.

People responded

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One user said, “You are independent. They don’t contribute anything to your living situation or your studies. They have a serious problem respecting boundaries. Send them packing ASAP!” 

Another wrote, “NTA! Change the locks tomorrow and put your foot down. “This is my home. I pay the bills; I’m on the lease. You are not welcome here without my express invitation.” 

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Images are for illustrative purposes only

Source: Reddit