A young woman recently questioned if she was being unreasonable by asking her parents to leave her home while she attended university. Here’s what she had to say.
She’s a medical student
The 20-year-old woman is a medical student enrolled at a university in Scotland, which is approximately three hours away from her hometown. Despite having her own apartment, she encounters a challenge as her mother has moved in with her, and her father frequently visits. This situation presents a unique dynamic for the woman as she navigates her studies while accommodating her mother’s presence and her father’s regular visits.
Her mom moved in
They have their own home in the city where she’s originally from. They just like to keep an eye out for her. “When my sister lived away at university, she got married in secret, and I think this is what has caused my parents to be this strict with me,” she said.
She pays her own bills
The woman explained that she takes on the responsibility of paying for rent, utilities, and groceries on her own. This financial independence is made possible by her well-paying job at the hospital located on campus. To support herself, she often works demanding 12-hour night shifts, balancing her medical studies with her work commitments.
She wants her freedom
She loves her family dearly, and being Middle Eastern, family is very important to her. But she’s had enough. She wants her own independence without feeling like she has someone breathing down her neck.
She’s very social
Her mom and dad are lovely, but it is simply getting too much. “I am a very bubbly person who loves having fun, meeting new people & having wild but wholesome nights with friends, and making the best memories,” she said.
Her life is suffering
She’s never had the university experience, which is something that she wants. She feels that her social life has taken a huge hit, and she cannot meet anyone outside of her course because her parents are very strict about who she hangs out with.
Dad also visits
They also want her to spend eight hours a day studying. She said, “I want to grow & learn as a person, but I can’t do that while my mom lives here and my dad visits constantly.”
They control her life
She’s not allowed to wear what she wants, and her parents told her to only speak to people regarding her studies. She can’t come and go as she pleases, and if she wants to drink or smoke, she must do it in secret. They even control her food.
She can’t do anything
“I cannot pick up hobbies because they will take time away from my education. I cannot do spontaneous things like going on a trip with friends for a weekend. Everything is so controlled,” the woman said.
She’s worried about the effects
She is concerned that this is taking a toll on her mental health because all she does is study, go to university, or stay in her room. She wants to grow and learn as a person, but she can’t do that while her mother lives there and her dad is visiting all the time.
Her life is empty
“Even things like learning new recipes and household skills are things I want to experience. I want to be able to have routines solely focused on myself & making me feel good. I am missing out on so much and would like to have these life experiences.”
Nothing is her own
“I don’t know how to approach this situation with my parents,” she said. She feels that her entire life is dedicated to other people. She’s there for people in their most vulnerable moments. She’s studying how to care for patients and works as an auxiliary nurse.
It’s taking its toll
She also volunteers for a suicide helpline, gives free tuition in science-based subjects, and advises medical school applicants from disadvantaged backgrounds. “I’m the friend everyone goes to every time there is an emergency or life crisis. I love what I do, but I’m so burnt out,” she said.
She wants something for herself
So for once, the woman wants to do something selfish, something just for her, but she doesn’t want to hurt her parents.
What should she do?
So the woman asked if she was entitled to make them leave even though it might hurt their feelings and they all agreed with her.
People responded
One user said, “You are independent. They don’t contribute anything to your living situation or your studies. They have a serious problem respecting boundaries. Send them packing ASAP!”
Another wrote, “NTA! Change the locks tomorrow and put your foot down. “This is my home. I pay the bills; I’m on the lease. You are not welcome here without my express invitation.”
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Images are for illustrative purposes only
Source: Reddit
