His Adopted Nephew Was Never Fully Accepted into the Family, so He Gave His Sister-in-Law Some Frank Advice She Didn’t Appreciate

A man recently found himself tangled in a family drama going back years. His brother had two biological children, both 18, who were cutting off ties with the brother’s adopted son, 7. The child was devastated, and his mother asked the original poster what to do, but she didn’t appreciate his advice. Here’s what he had to say.

His brother was unfaithful

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The seeds of these issues were planted many years in the past. When the brother first got married, he’d had an affair that resulted in fathering another child. He and his wife raised them both while being honest about where they came from.

His sister-in-law passed away

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Tragically, the original poster’s first sister-in-law passed away when the children were 10. His brother continued raising his two children on his own. Then came his second wife.

She already had a son

Child labor baby newborn giving birth
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When his brother met his second wife, she had a baby boy who was a few weeks old at the time. He immediately became the boy’s father. But not everyone was as welcoming as he was.

His children were angry with him

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The brother’s children were upset about the brother finding love again. “They were angry, furious even, that he was moving on after what he’d done to their mother,” the original poster explained. “They felt he should stay alone for the rest of his life out of some kind of penance for cheating on and betraying their mom.”

The adopted son loved his siblings

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Even though the biological children didn’t welcome their little step-brother as a true sibling, he idolized them growing up. The little boy even drew his big brother and sister as superheroes when he was in kindergarten. “I always sensed that he was going to get his heart broken,” the man said of his nephew.

The older children left as soon as they could

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When the biological children turned 18, they left the brother’s household right away. They stopped speaking to him and their little brother all at once. The little boy was emotionally devastated that he’d lost his siblings.

He told her the truth

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The man’s sister-in-law was distraught at their family breaking up. She wanted to know how to make her son feel better and heal this emotional trauma. When she asked the original poster for advice, he said the best thing to do was to take the boy to therapy to work through his emotional issues.

She rejected his advice

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Apparently, this was not the advice his sister-in-law wanted to hear. “SIL did not like the advice and said as a mother, there is way more she can do, and my advice was so mean-spirited,” he said. But he didn’t see it that way.

Was he wrong?

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It was a complex situation spanning three biological mothers, abandonment, a tragic death, and 18 years of history. His brother had made his fair share of mistakes but was apparently trying his best to be a good parent to multiple children. The original poster thought his recommendation of therapy was warranted, but he asked the Internet to weigh in on the situation.

People responded

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The comments section was largely in support of therapy as a good solution given the complicated emotions involved. “Therapy is a good suggestion,” said one reply. “He’s just a kid, knows nothing of why his big brother and sister were there one day, and the next weren’t. Those are some big feelings for a small child.” Another said, “What you said was the truth. She just didn’t like it.”

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