A man recently caused trouble in his relationship when he told his girlfriend she should change out of the floaty, bright yellow dress she’d chosen to wear to a professional event. Here’s what the boyfriend had to say.
She Was Going To A Conference
One morning, the man’s girlfriend was prepping for a medical research conference she had to attend. Earlier that week, the senior researchers had presented their studies. They had been told to dress in smart casual work clothes.
There Was No Specific Dress Code
This time around, it was the underclassmen’s chance to present their research, and there were no specific guidelines regarding attire for the attendees of the event.
Nevertheless, the man held a firm belief that appearances played a significant role and due to the professional and academic nature of the event what she wore was important. He said, “Given this is still a professional academic event, I expected the norm to be business casual.”
She Chose a Yellow Dress
The man’s girlfriend chose a bright yellow dress with sleeves that went only to mid-forearm. It was shapeless and floaty. She then asked her boyfriend for his opinion on the outfit.
Concerned, he suggested that she consider wearing something business casual instead.
The Couple Had A Debate
Nevertheless, the woman insisted that her attire qualified as business casual, whereas her boyfriend adamantly disagreed, asserting that it was undoubtedly casual but not suitable for a business setting.
The disagreement continued to volley between them. While the man acknowledged that the final decision rested with the woman, he made it clear that he believed the dress was unsuitable for the occasion.
He Never Liked The Dress
The boyfriend admitted, “I never was a big fan of this dress, to begin with, and called it a grandma dress before, but the reason I had an issue with it today wasn’t out of personal distaste but for her professional image.”
She Normally Wore Scrubs
The man added, “For more context, she is in healthcare, so she’s worn scrubs to school almost every day, and she hasn’t had many chances to express herself.”
But he still maintained that, as these were the people she would be networking with for the rest of her career, she should opt for professionalism over personal expression.
He Feared Her Embarrassment
The man told his partner he didn’t want her to embarrass herself, but she thought he was just saying this because he didn’t like the dress.
Feeling the need to clarify his intentions, the man explained, “I want you to express yourself, and it makes me happy when I see you being happy in how you dress, but I only say this because this is a professional event, and I want people to take you seriously.”
She’d Had Insecurities Before
The girlfriend had previously shared her insecurities about her classmates and some faculty members being dismissive of her input.
The man’s comment about wanting people to take her seriously upset her, as she felt it implied that people didn’t take her seriously in general.
He Should’ve Rephrased
Realizing how his girlfriend had taken his criticism, he regretted his choice of words. He wished he’d been clearer by saying something like, “People might find that dress a little silly,” to emphasize that he was only talking about the dress and not her personally.
Was He Too Judgemental?
Ultimately, the woman decided to change back into her scrubs, leaving her boyfriend feeling guilty and unsure about how he handled the situation.
Seeking reassurance, he asked the internet for their take on his behavior and whether or not he was right to be so insistent about the dress for the sake of professionalism.
People Responded
One user posted, “That’s a lot of words for ‘I’m a controlling jerk that tanked my girlfriend’s self-esteem before a professional event.’ Impressive.”
Another user said, “He doesn’t sound controlling. It sounds to me like he cares enough about her to remember her insecurity with the way she’s being treated and try to help guide her in a way that would make people take her seriously.”
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Source: Reddit
