When it comes to what attracts a romantic partner, men can get it so wrong. An online survey recently asked, “Women, what is something guys do that they think is attractive but really isn’t?” Here are the top 21 responses.
Talking over people in a group
“Talking over people in a group and always trying to be the loudest/most dominant person in a conversation. It makes you look really rude.”
“Facts. It makes me cringe seeing my friends act totally different around a girl.”
Wearing too much cologne
“Cologne should be discovered, not announced.”
“As my eight-grade science teacher told the class one day: ‘The purpose of perfume and cologne is that whoever you’re hugging hugs you a bit tighter and a bit longer.’”
Boasting about themselves
“Speaking to me in an unbroken monologue full of humblebrags, or just open bragging (usually exaggerating), about their lives and accomplishments.”
“This one is probably the saddest to me because most guys only do that if they’re incredibly insecure about themselves.”
Bragging about the number of girls they get
“Any guy that actually gets with a lot of girls does not tell other girls about how many girls they get with.”
“That’s not actually a good thing either. Getting girls constantly means you can’t keep them for long, which isn’t that fun if we’re talking about a more serious relationship.”
Speaking negatively about their ex
“But she was crazy. And I need to tell you in explicit detail how to avoid becoming like her so I won’t resent you too.”
“If you have one crazy ex, he/she’s probably really the crazy one. If you only have crazy exes, you’re the crazy one.”
Bragging about their physicality
“The whole bragging about their physical prowess? I always feel that if you’re confident in your physicality, you don’t need to brag. Also, if you punched another dude (save for self-defense, of course), that’s just being horrible.”
“I agree. I briefly dated someone that used to brag about how they would try to get in fights at bars. It was strange and not attractive.”
Being insecure about their masculinity
“I told an ex he was ‘pretty’ once, and he got super offended about it. Both partners I’ve had since have been good with any compliments I pile upon them. Getting upset over ‘cute’ or ‘pretty’ is absurd.”
“ Once a guy I was talking to got very angry when I called him ‘cute,’ and he gave me a one-hour talk about how to call a man ‘cute’ goes against his masculinity and how it’s a sign of weakness.”
Smirking in photos
“That constipated, brow-furrow, smirk look they do with their face in all their photos.”
“I always knew that duck-face had its male counterpart. A word for this would be nice… buck-face, maybe?”
Picking people up to show their strength
“I’ve had more than one guy lift me. Like literally pick me up to show me how strong they are. Do Not Like!”
“Same. It’s definitely a great way to make a woman feel not safe hanging out with you anymore.”
Being overly sarcastic or sexual when flirting
“I just run as fast as I can when I hear people say, ‘sarcasm is my second language.’”
“So does turning everything into an innuendo. Makes me not want to talk to or around you, even if I liked you before.”
Being an ‘Alpha’ male
“It exists for wolves in captivity.”
“Scrap the whole Alpha/Beta nonsense and just live your life on your terms, not someone else’s.”
Insulting people
“A little teasing is necessary for a good relationship in my eyes, but recently, I dated someone who went way past teasing after a few dates and just started to straight up insult me, my house, and my life. That’s not attractive.”
“This. Especially when they first meet you. It’s one thing to playfully tease someone you’re very comfortable with. It’s another thing to poke fun at a complete stranger or barely-acquaintance. You can’t expect them to enjoy or think it’s funny.”
Letting their pants hang low
“This might just be me, but when dudes wear their pants below a certain point, I feel like it defeats the purpose of pants.”
“My wife is a PE teacher and said that boys can’t even run correctly anymore because they just know how to ‘sag jog’. Guys, running around while holding your pants up looks ridiculous.”
Catcalling
“I really don’t get what men think is appealing about this. Anytime a strange man has catcalled me, I’m immediately alarmed and put on guard.”
“It has nothing to do with making themselves attractive to you. It’s a hostile act of domination.”
Making their voice deeper around women
“Making your voice deeper on purpose when you’re around us. You sound like a fool; please stop.”
“I have a study group with my church that has people from like 11-23, and the 13-year-old boys are always doing this.”
Not showing their emotions
“The whole ‘not crying or showing emotions’ thing. I really prefer guys who are able to be sad and express their sadness to me over guys who pretend not to have feelings just to be the alpha male.”
“Real men don’t cry. We sob.”
Telling people what they should do when they’re upset
“When I tell you a problem/say something that’s upsetting me, and you go to great lengths to explain why I shouldn’t be upset/explain all the things I should do. Sometimes we just need to be comforted.”
“Yeh, this. Men think we want them to ‘fix’ everything. Sometimes we just them to empathize.”
Trying to be sexy
“There’s been a few times where a dude will look at me and sexually bite or lick his lips and then wink at me. It’s so creepy and weird to me.”
Loud cars
“It impresses the boys. Not the girls.”
“Perfect parallel parking is the only thing that actually impresses us.”
Insulting other women
“If you insult and disparage other women in front of me, this does not make me think I’m special. It makes me think you’re a nasty piece of work who hates women.”
“Exactly. If you do it to her, you will do it to me. When/if we’re not together, I wonder what he will say about me. Or what he’s even saying now to his buddies?”
Dropping their weights on purpose at the gym
“It’s distracting, damaging to equipment, and not impressing anyone who seriously works out.”
“That’s annoying for everyone at the gym, not just for girls.”
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