When protecting our boundaries, we can often come across as being rude or unwilling without meaning to do so. After all, saying ‘no’ is not as accommodating as saying ‘yes.’
In a recent video, Barb Schmidt and Michelle Maros, co-hosts of the Barb Knows Best podcast, identified four behaviors that may seem rude but are actually self-care:
#1 Declining an Invite
Schmidt and Maros explain that it is perfectly OK to decline an invite if you “don’t have the time, energy or interest in attending.”
As important as it is to be a supportive friend, it is equally important to take time for yourself. If you feel burned out or don’t want to attend an event, you have every right to say no without explaining yourself.
#2 Letting Someone Know if Something Isn’t in Your Budget.
Weddings, birthdays, baby showers, and stag do’s are expensive. If you cannot afford to attend an event that is proving too costly, you shouldn’t feel forced into it.
Maros says, “This may be controversial, but I think it’s perfectly fine to decline an invite to a wedding or any other event that’s outside your financial comfort zone.”
She argues that there are plenty of other ways to show someone you care without going into debt.
#3 Not Responding to Text Messages 24/7
We are all guilty of constantly picking up our phones to check for notifications. It can become an addictive habit, leading to stress and burnout. Know that it is OK if you are not always available to the rest of the world and that you cannot respond to text messages 24/7.
As Schmidt says: “Just because you are available doesn’t mean you have to be reachable. When was the last time you put your phone on do not disturb mode?’
Also Read: 6 Tips For Dealing With Manipulators (That Actually Work)
#4 Being Emotionally Honest.
Delivering bad news can be bad, but to lead someone on is even worse. You are not rude for not wanting to continue going on dates with a guy or not wanting to meet up with your friends every Saturday for a game of football.
Be honest, explain how you feel, and let go of any guilt for doing so.
So what do you think? Are Schmidt and Maros right? What other things may come across as rude but are actually self-care?
Check out their video here.
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